1. As these beginners feel so fervent and diligent in spiritual things and devotional exercises, from this property (although it is true that holy things are humiliating in themselves) due to their imperfection a certain branch of hidden pride often arises, from where they come. to have some satisfaction from their works and from themselves. And from this is also born a certain somewhat vain desire, and sometimes very vain, to speak spiritual things in front of others, and even sometimes to teach them more than to learn them, and they condemn others in their hearts when they do not see them with the way of devotion that they would want, and sometimes they even say it orally, resembling in this the Pharisee, who boasted praising God about the works he did, and despising the publican (Lk. 18, 1112).
2. The devil often increases their fervor and desires to do more of these and other works because their pride and presumption grow. Because the devil knows very well that all these works and virtues that work, not only are worthless to them, but before they turn into vice. And some of these tend to get so bad that they would not want anyone else to appear good but themselves; and thus, with the deed and word, when it is offered, they condemn and detract, looking at the motive in the eye of his brother, and not considering the beam that is in his (Mt.7,37); they strain other people's mosquito and swallow their camel (Mt. 23, 24).
3. Sometimes also, when their spiritual teachers, such as confessors and prelates, do not approve their spirit and way of proceeding (because they want them to esteem and praise their things), they judge that their spirit does not understand them, or that they do not they are spiritual, because they do not approve of that and condescend to it. And so, then they want and try to deal with someone else who suits their taste; because ordinarily they want to deal with their spirit with those who understand that they have to praise and esteem their things, and they flee, as from death, from those who destroy them to put them on a safe path, and sometimes even take hatred with them. Showing off, they often propose a lot and do very little. They sometimes want others to understand their spirit and their devotion, and for this they sometimes make outward displays of movements, sighs, and other ceremonies; and, sometimes, some raptures, in public more than in secret, to which the devil helps them, and they are pleased that they understand that, and often greed.
4. Many want to precede and deprive with confessors, and from here a thousand envy and restlessness are born. They are embarrassed to say their sins naked because their confessors don't look down on them, and they color them because they don't seem so bad, which is more to go to excuse than to accuse. And sometimes they look for another confessor to say what is bad because the other does not think that they have anything bad, but rather good; and so, they always like to tell you what is good, and sometimes in terms that seem before more than what is less, with the desire that it seems good to you, however it would be more humility, as we will say, undo it and be willing that neither he nor anyone had it in something.
5. Some of these also have little of their faults, and other times they are too sad to see themselves fall into them, thinking that they should already be saints, and they get angry with themselves with impatience, which is another imperfection. They are often very eager for God to remove their imperfections and faults, more to see themselves without bothering them in peace than for God; not seeing that, if they were to be removed, by chance they would become more arrogant and presumptuous. They are enemies of praising others and friends who praise them, and sometimes they pretend to; in which they are similar to the mad virgins, who, having their dead lamps, sought oil outside (Mt. 25, 8).
6. Of these imperfections some come to have many very intensely, and much evil in them; but some have less, some more, and some only first movements or little more; and there are scarcely a few of these beginners who in the time of these fervors do not fall for something of this.
But those who in this time go in perfection, proceed very differently and with very different temper of spirit; because they take advantage of and build up a lot with humility, not only having their own things in nothing, but with very little self-satisfaction; they consider all the others to be much better, and they tend to have a holy envy, wanting to serve God like them; because, the more fervor they carry and the more works they do and the pleasure they have in them, as they go in humility, the more they know how much God deserves and how little is all that they do for him; and so the more they do, the less satisfied they are. How much of charity and love they would like to do for him, that everything they do seems nothing to them; and he solicits, occupies and imbibes this care of love so much that they never notice whether the others do it or not; and if they notice, everything is, as I say, believing that everyone else is much better than them. From where, holding themselves in little, they also want others to hold them in little and to undo them and dismiss their things. And they have more, that, although they want to praise and esteem them, in no way can they believe it, and it seems strange to them to say those goods about them.
7. These, with great tranquility and humility, have a great desire to be taught by anyone who can take advantage of them; Quite the opposite of what those of us who have said above have, that they would like to teach everything, and even when it seems they teach them something, they themselves take the word from their mouths as if they already know it. But these, being very far from wanting to be teachers of anyone, are very ready to walk and take a different path from the one they take, if they are told to, because they never think that they are successful in anything. They rejoice when they praise others; they only feel sorry that they do not serve God as they do.
They don't feel like saying their things, because they hold them in so little that even their spiritual teachers are ashamed to say them, thinking that they are not things that deserve to be spoken of. They want more to say their faults and sins, or to understand them, than not their virtues; and thus they are more inclined to treat their souls with those who have less their things and their spirit, which is the property of a simple, pure and true spirit, and very pleasing to God. Because, as the wise spirit of God dwells in these humble souls, it then moves and inclines them to keep their treasures in secret and cast out their evils. Because God gives this grace to the humble, along with the other virtues, just as he denies it to the proud (Wisdom 4, 6).
8. These will give their heart's blood to those who serve God, and will help, as this is in itself, to serve him. In the imperfections that are seen to fall, with humility they suffer, and with softness of spirit and loving fear of God, hoping in him.
But souls that at first walk with this way of perfection, I understand are, as has been said, the fewest and very few; that we would be content if they did not fall into the contrary things. That is why, as we will say later, God places those whom he wants to purify from all these imperfections in the dark night in order to lead them forward.