- My thoughts and beliefs
- My reactions
- My choices
- My attitude
It is done? Yes, that's it.
It may seem like a somewhat restricted list, but there is the genius of Epictetus: he is right. Think about it: There are aspects of your life that you have free will that only you control completely. For example, no one can force you to believe or think something you don't want. And that is the only field where we can really exercise our freedom, our autonomy.
However, instead of focusing on controlling our thoughts and beliefs, Epictetus said that much of our suffering is because we try to exercise control over the elements on the first list, that of "external" things, which we cannot control. We hold our parents, our boss, the economy or our neighbor responsible for our frustration, for what we think and feel. And that is the basis of victimhood and loss of control.
Let's see a concrete example: imagine a person who feels social anxiety. This person is very concerned with how others judge him. You have two options: to reproach people "they don't treat me well", "they don't look at me well", "they don't try to integrate me", "they demand too much of me", "I'm going to dislike them ...", or,
Following Epictetus' teachings, she can focus on her inner zone: learning to accept herself, even if others don't.
That is, you can decide how the judgment of others will affect you, you can decide how important you are going to give it and how it makes you feel!
Therein lies your freedom.